Mind-B(L)oggling

My first post on this blog.Since my thought to action process is even slower than snails,it took me 15 days to get my hands off my head and put them on the keypad.The biggest issue to be dealt with was on what topic should I write this post? Thousands of topic crashed on my cerebellum.Foxy.Yash and his sleep:An eternal love story.Gyan Mandir.Environment.Nobel prizes.Indian economy.Then I thought Foxy is one of the most overresearched topics in our university and environment should be left to be dealt by Lavanya.Soch Avani Soch!Dimag ke tantu hila.I seriously needed to write something on the blog.Afterall,Parnil and Yash ate up our 1 and a half hour to make us write something on the blog!I called up my brother,just to have his part of opinion on this.He actually suggested me to write something about Nanotechnological researches or the complex integrated chips or the spectrometrical blah blah blah.Bye bye bhai!Then I understood about the cyclic nature of time.It leaves you standing at the same place from where you have started.(LRM lectures are easy to understand by quoting daily life problems:) ).To blog or not to blog? Blog Avani blog!!Then I started imagining about a magician who just comes and makes my fingers tap on the keyboard and ..and..ting ting!!My cell beeped.Idea cellular limited has no work other than disturbing its customers by asking them to pay Rs.3 to them for knowing about their past births.That gave me an idea to write something on "The disadvantages of advancing technologies".But that would have looked like a school level essay which has been decently copied from the Oxford English essay book.Jaane de Avani!Blogging is not for you.Lets turn off ..no..no.. hibernate the laptop and sleep.

-Avani Verma

Waking up: Through the eyes of a First Year

This post is a long one... don't say I didn't warn you.

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This is a first hand account of what the herculean task of waking up was to a newly sleep-deprived first year in his first few weeks at NLIU.

Note: My thoughts are in italics, everything spoken is in regular characters.

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8:26 AM: Room A-116, New Boys Hostel, NLIU Bhopal

{Alarm number one i.e. Parnil’s cellphone begins to beep}

Something is beeping. My phone is beeping. No, it can’t be my phone beeping… its only been 3 minutes since I went to bed… Or if it is my phone beeping, its clock has gone wrong. Nope. This can’t be my phone beeping. I should sleep more. Sleep. Sleep. Beep. Beep. My phone is beeping. WHY THE *content suppressed* IS MY *content suppressed* PHONE BEEPING!?!? AAAAAAAAAAH! Goodbye phone. I am not listening to your *content suppressed for language* BEEPING! Hello Mr. Sleep, take me away! Sleep. Sleep. Sleezzzzzzz…

Yash: *drool*

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8:45 AM: Room A-116, New Boys Hostel, NLIU Bhopal

{Alarm number two i.e. Parnil’s other phone begins to beep. Alarm number one has overcome the snooze limit and its beeping can no longer be stopped. T minus 15 minutes to class}

Something is beeping. Has this happened before? No it hasn’t. Déjà Vu. In the morning. But my phone is beeping. Or should that by my phones are beeping. Are my phones beeping? Why yes. Yes they are. And they’re doing it together. Beep. Boop. Beep. Boop. Wow. That’s kinda catchy. That’s a catchy… a catchy… that’s a catchy beep. Hmmmmm… catchy. Catch. Catch a cat. Cat caught a cat’s catch. Catch some sleep. Sleep beep. Beep beep. Boop. Boos. Booze. Boozzzzzz…

Yash: *Snort*

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8:47 AM: Room A-116, New Boys Hostel, NLIU Bhopal

{Alarms one and two have now reached a feverish pitch. Alarm number three (Yash’s cellphone) joins in with a beautiful tremolo. Alarms four and five i.e. Parnil’s iPod and wristwatch also begin to contribute to the rising crescendo – the Alarm orchestra has reached a point where it would put the London Philharmonic to shame. Alarm number six i.e. Amit Mate has begun to bang on the door, adding a tasteful rhythm section to this symphonious masterpiece. He swears in the countertenor voice that is his gift.}

Amit: *banging* Uth jaao bétiyon! Kyon phirsé class ki sorry kar rahé ho?!

Amit… I can hear Amit. I’m dreaming about Amit. Why am I dreaming about Amit? Amit is not a scantily clad Megan Fox... why am I dreaming about Amit? I can hear Amit. I can also hear beeping. So much beeping. I should see what time it is… maybe it’s happy time. Beep boop. Hehe. Boop. That rhymes with poop. Boop boop poop.

Parnil: *rolls over and falls off bed, climbs back up unperturbed, claws around for phone through one half-open eye*

Eight four seven. Eight four seven… Four eight seven. Four ate seven. Hehe. Funny. Its 4:87 in the morning. But that doesn’t sound right… Eighty seven? No wait. Eight… Four… Seven. Eight forty-seven. That’s ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen minutes to nine. Thirteen. Class starts at nine. Nine O’ Clock.

I’m so smart. I think I should sleep some more because of how smart I am.


Eight Forty-Seven.


EIGHT FORTY-SEVEN!?!?! *expletive deleted*

Oi! Yash! GET THE *expletive deleted* UP! CLASS STARTS IN THIRTEEN MINUTES!!

Yash: *drool* Hmm? Hmm.

Parnil: DUDE! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! GET UP!!

Yash: Mmhmm. Hmm.

Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap. This is bad.

*Grabs toothbrush, toothpaste, liquid soap, bottle of Old SpiceTM and mug, scrambles out of the room hurtling towards the bathroom*

Amit: Kya kar rahé ho?!

Parnil: Thank you Mate, owe you Mate, love you Mate.

Amit: Aww… you say the sweetest things.

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8:51 AM: Middle Stall, Boys Bathroom #2, New Boys Hostel, NLIU Bhopal

Parnil: *sprinkles Old SpiceTM liberally around stall, eyes turn towards toilet seat where there is a small, green and clearly surprised amphibian staring back. It’s large, liquid eyes unblinkingly gaze into Parnil’s puffy, red and wide open ones*

What the? *Blink* Is that a frog?!

Why yes. Yes it is. There is a frog on the toilet. I wonder what the French for that is. Il ya un grenouille sur la chaise de toilette... wait. Now is not the time. I am late. And there is a frog on the toilet. THERE IS A FREAKING FROG ON THE *expletive deleted* TOILET!! AAAAAH!

Parnil: MATE! MAAAAAATE! THERE IS A FLUGGING FROG ON THE TOILET SEAT IN THIS STALL!

Amit: Well then apologize to it and come back out.

Parnil: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Amit: What? It was there first you know. It called dibs.

Parnil: *Unacceptable language deleted* YOU!

Amit: Not now honey. And wake Yash up.

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8:56 AM: Room A-116, New Boys Hostel, NLIU Bhopal


Okay, I fell asleep in a Teeshirt and a pair of Jeans last night. That takes care of the clothes problem. Mental Checklist: Pens – Will borrow them in class, check. Register – Have the Common Law register, that should work for now, check. Phone – Check. Am I wearing pants – Check. Alrighty then. What am I forgetting?

Yash: *snort*

Yash. I am forgetting Yash. I mustn’t forget Yash.

Parnil: YASH! WAKE UP! IT IS TIME! WE SHOULD BE IN CLASS RIGHT NOW! AAAAH!

Yash: Hmm? Mmmhmm. Hmm.

Parnil: *Climbs up on Yash then punches him in the back. Stands up on him and begins to jump*

WAKE UP! YASH! YAAAAASH! WAKE UP!

Yash: What?! I’m up man! You could try just telling me to wake up verbally you know… What is wrong with you?!

Parnil: *Still jumping on Yash*

TRIED! YOU DIDN’T LISTEN! WAKE UP!

Amit: *walks in, sees Yash sprawled on bed, Parnil jumping on top of him*

I’ll give you two a minute alone then…

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9:01 AM: Room 1, Academic Block, NLIU Bhopal

I’m late I’m late I’m late I’m late. Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap.

Parnil: *pries open door, sees the Professor taking attendance, sheepishly requests to be let in*

Professor: *Looks at Parnil exasperatedly, nods, goes back to attendance*

Roll Number 17!

Hold on. Did he just say 17? HE SAID 17! YES! I MADE IT! HAHAHAHAHAHA! WOO HOO! Who’s your daddy now, who’s your daddy now, who’s your daddy now?! Oh yeah!

Parnil: *walks up to a seat at the back, grins at Kanu, Kriti, Shreya and Krithika*

You know I almost missed it today. Almost. You guys will not believe what I saw in the toilet today.

Shreya: I really don’t like the direction I see this conversation taking…

Professor: Roll Number 19!

Parnil: No it isn’t dirty, I swear. I walked in and I saw a frog! Can you believe it?! A frog!

Professor: Roll Number 20!

Shreya: Parnil…

Parnil: I mean, how crazy is that? A frog! And I was so convinced I’d missed attendance! Wow,
can you imagine my luck?

Kriti: Parnil…

Professor: Roll Number 21!

Parnil: But it’s not luck is it? He was at 17 when I walked in! Can you believe it? Like 4 roll numbers away! But I really am that awesome, even if I do say so myself…

Kriti, Shreya, Kanu, Krithika: PARNIL!

Professor: Roll Number 22!

Kanu: Present Sir!

Parnil: *Realization dawns. The Pyrrhic victory is no longer a victory at all. Once again the wily beast of attendance has eluded capture*

Parnil: OH YOU *expletive deleted*



-End-

The Endterms are over, take a bow.

Today we wrote the last Endterm paper of the first trimester. Wait, allow me to rephrase that - Today, we wrote the last non-repeat Endterm paper of the first trimester. No one can fault me for not being realistic. :|

Exams are one of the most frequent occurrences at NLIU, courtesy the Trimester system and so we seem to have an exam as soon as we wake up from the prolonged post-exam hibernation that we had to take as a result of the previous one - we ricochet from exam to exam, Midterm to Endterm ad infinitum and get almost zero sleep during. This of course, is because of the close to continuous nocturnal pre-exam activity that takes place on campus (innuendo not intended).

The thing is, the nights before each exam tend to be perhaps the most social nights of the Trimester. (I speak for the Boys Hostel of course and for all I know there is near-constant rigorous and feverish revision in the Girls Hostel. However, something tells me that there shall be uproar and outraged denial by many of my female batch-mates who would undoubtedly be scandalized by my suggestion.)

Revision is a rarity in the Boys Hostel, primarily because the night before the exam is the first time people actually read the material that the professors here so diligently labour on. (Again, such people are also a rarity - not because everyone else has read the material but because barely anyone reads it, even before the exam.) The night before the exam is thus a wondorous journey of discovery and exploration as the braver ones among us unflinchingly dive deep into the depths of the tomes each of us is bequeathed, no doubt in a selfless attempt to salvage knowledge that they shall endow on the rest of us 5 minutes before the commencement of the paper. (Baibhav and Chandan, I'm looking at you.)

The rest of us seem to follow the same looping pattern as we -

• Read one page
• Weep in dismay as we count the number of pages left
• Look at the time remaining till sunrise
• Plan a timetable that meticulously has us study everything prior to said sunrise
• Marvel at our own (illusionary) brilliance
• Reward ourselves a break for said brilliance
• Exit our rooms and engage in conversation with our immediate neighbours (inquiring about their state of readiness or lack thereof), then our neighbours and also travelers we may bump into on our path
• Go to the mess
• Pick up on snatches of conversation when we hear phrases like "....said that the Nuisance cases are definitely going to be asked about" and make mental notes to devote considerable time to the study of said cases as we also try and figure out how to make room for them in our significantly tight but well-conceived time tables.
• Finally realise that it has been 35 minutes since we last read something
• Scramble to our rooms and hold the material
• Read another page in the terror of quiet desperation
• Lather, Rinse & Repeat

Nonetheless, exams are times when we discover inner strength we never knew we had, especially post-examination when we are told that the 3 page answer we laboured on was completely off point. (The art of pélna is one that is quickly learnt here.) Exams at this University build moral fibre and strength of character – and they do so with alarming frequency.

Exams teach us so much. We are forever in their debt.

However, following the Viva-Voce exams tomorrow and the day after, we shall have emerged (although not unscathed) battle-weary and tired from our first Trimester. And then we shall rest and recuperate, sharpening our weapons for our next battle - a battle who's inevitability has finally sunk in.

Someday I will also post on the Joy of the Project.

Till next time,
Tally Ho!

- Parnil Urdhwareshe